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Hindu tradition worships the goddess as a symbol of strength, wealth and wisdom. Women are believed to be the pillars of family and society, and ancient Hindu texts say that a mother is greater than all pleasures of life in heaven. Yet in supreme irony, the same Hindu tradition forces women to fast and pray for their husbands’ longevity and prosperity or to receive the blessing of a perfect husband. Men do not have to ask the saints of the past to cleanse them of their sins, but women have to do it every year.
The contradiction does not end with Teej or Rishi Panchami. Widows, childless and single women, and those who do not give birth to a son: these women are treated worse than a convicted criminal in a Hindu society, and this abomination is sanctioned by ancient Hindu law – the Manu Smriti.
In Nepal and parts of India, parents still discriminate between their own children, where a son is preferred and a daughter is just a burden. Widows are forced to mourn their entire lives, while a man is free to marry after the traditional 45 days of mourning. It is acceptable for a man to marry a second, third or fourth time to produce a male heir, but a childless woman is ostracized by the community.
Except for the few living in a big city or fortunate enough to have an understanding family, the majority of Hindu women are struggling to be free of the discrimination sanctioned by their religion and community.
Today’s Nepal is very different from the time the Manu Smriti was written or the time the festivals of Teej and Rishi Panchami came into being, and yet the women are still unable to escape the confines of tradition. The blame here, largely, falls on the women themselves and, in some part, the society and government is also responsible.
For years, Nepali women have played the role of protecting and following traditions. They are happy to stay hungry for a whole day without food and water for their husband and they do not ask the husband to show the same level of commitment or devotion to them. They will make rounds of temples and make offerings to the deities, begging the gods to keep their marriage happy, but the husband is never expected to be grateful or thankful. Nepali women have put their husbands, sons and fathers on pedestals and have accepted the position of second-class citizens with pride.
Things will stay the same for Nepali women if they continue on the same path without ever questioning authority – in this case, the male figures – and themselves. This year, the country was declared a secular republic and the centuries-old monarchy was shown the door by the people. Now the people are the decision makers. It is time for the women of Nepal to claim their rightful position in the country and demand an end to subjugation and discrimination forced on them by their religion and culture.
The call for Nepali women to break free of religious and cultural confines, though, is not a call to discard everything from their culture. It would be a terrible loss indeed if the country loses its cultural and religious heritage to the demands of the modern world. But there has to be balance and reform.
It is not fair to expect a 21st century woman to accept her husband as a god and fast for his long life while the husband is not expected to return the favor; it is not fair to shame women and make them repent their sins while men do not have to do the same. Instead, festivals like Teej and Rishi Panchami and other cultural practices that treat women as lesser beings have to be reformed to make them more balanced, and have men and women take part equally.
On a personal note, I have never celebrated Teej. My parents never made me beg to Lord Shiva for a good husband and my husband does not think he needs to starve me to ensure a long, happy life. I hope that, next year, Nepali women will celebrate a more gender-sensitive and empowering Teej and Rishi Panchami.
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(Bhumika Ghimire is a freelance reporter. Her articles have been published in OhMyNews, NepalNews, Toward Freedom, Telegraph Nepal, Himal South Asian and ACM Ubiquity. She is also a regular contributor to News Front Weekly (Nepal) and Nepal Abroad (Washington D.C.). She can be reached at bhumika_g@yahoo.com. ©Copyright Bhumika Ghimire)
